The Wonderful World of Motherhood

I have long accepted the fact that motherhood is not for me. I have my brothers and my sister and I am fine. I live my single life and I love it. I am good. I have work.

But then everything changed one faithful July morning by those two pink lines on the pregnancy kit I just peed on. I have to admit that it was not easy. I am single. I just got back with the baby daddy. I am not sure if I'm even ready - mentally, emotionally, physically and financially. But I was never afraid. The overflowing love I felt that morning is more than enough assurance that I can do it.

I know that I'll never be a perfect mother. But that won't stop me from trying to be one. Pero ang hirap. It has been almost a month since Skye was born. My life changed dramatically. I never thought that a simple smile would be enough to erase all the pain and body aches pero nakakaloka kasi para akong si Darna. Noon, I would always joke that I felt like Darna sa dami ng ginagawa sa work. I am a full time IT engineer, a blogger, a sister. And work sometimes is too hectic to the point na umiikot na talaga ang mundo ko. I thought, those tiring things are enough para masabing Darna-levels na ako. But boy I'm so wrong!

Panis ang stress at pagod sa work.

My arms are sore. I am functioning at almost zero sleep and with minimum coffee intake (maximum possible for a nursing mother like me). I have aching breasts due to breastfeeding. I have a CS operation wound that still need my attention. But surprisingly, I was never tired. Sabi ko nga, sumasakit ang buong katawan ko pero hinding hindi ako mapapagod alagaan sya. Coz honestly, in the middle of the night, in the middle of all the frustrations I'm feeling due to lack of sleep, just one smile from my Skye is enough to make me swoon. Habang kumikirot ang dibdib ko sa pagdede nya at habang tumutulo ang luha ko sa sakit, nag uumapaw ang puso ko sa saya dahil alam kong nabubusog sya sa gatas ko. I know I am trying to give her the best. I don't know for how long. But I will try until I can. But don't get me wrong. The kind of milk you give to your child won't define you as a mother. As long as you give your child what you think is the best for her/him, then you are doing a good job.

My journey as a mother is just starting. I am new to this role. But like all the mothers I know, I will give it my best shot. And to all new moms out there, just hold on. You are doing a good job. And remember that you are the mother. God chose you as the mother of your child, that little one was entrusted to you because He knows that you will take care of that little angel.

Next time I'll post about the things that's cracking me up as a mother. For now let's focus on the wonderful feeling that is motherhood. :)

Nakakaloka. I am so happy I can now blog using my iPad. Ang laking tulong ng pagba-blog talaga saken. Ito ako eh. Bumabalik talaga ang wisyo ko pag nakakapagsulat ako at nakakapag blog. Ang saya saya lang. :)

Till next time my dear blog readers. And I hope you'd still love me kahit wala ng fashion post masyado. Promise babalik tayo dyan. 7kilos na nawawala sa akin. Konti pa. Pag nakapag shorts na ako ulit, OOTD na tayo promise.

Have a wonderful week ahead.


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