When You Need Your Mother To Mother

If you personally know me, or if you have been a long time reader of this space then you probably thought - "Wow! What a great mother she is."

Of course I blog about all the awesome things I do as a mother. I blog about my struggles, but of course I sound strong and put together and just plain great in all of my stories. I post about the wonderful places I visit with my kids, the nice things I buy for them, the quality time I spend with them despite having a very busy work schedule.

But I will let you in my little secret - I mother with my mother and my aunt and my sister and my cousin. I mother with all these amazing women who loves my kids as much as I love them.

Every time my officemates would ask me if I am okay with all the travels I have to do for work, and I answer with YES because I have my mother and my aunt who looks after my kids - all of them would just nod in agreement and would say I have the most perfect set-up as a working mum.

When I was a first time mum, I thought I could do it all. I thought I need to be that hands on mother who would personally bathe her kids and feed them and do bento baons. I would feel bad if I miss a recognition day or a school performance. I would kick myself up for missing a tiny aspect of my kid's life.

But then PPD hit me and anxiety got the best of me. I realized, I have my tribe. I have my amazing mother who would do everything in her power to help me mother my children. I have my aunt who loves my kids so much she is willing to do everything for them. I have a sister who despite having her own child would still find time to care for my kids. And I have a cousin who loves my son like her very own. I shared motherhood with these amazing women and my kids are thriving and their love bank are so full every single day. Despite me being busy. Despite me being away sometimes.

And what I have learned is that, it is okay. I am not any less of a mother for asking help. And while I grew up in a household where my mother is there for me 24/7, that is not my life. I am a working mother. I happen to love my job. And while I have a deep sense of accomplishment for being a mother, my career gives me a different kind of fulfillment. Something my kids, won't be able to provide to me.

So while my kids are my everything, I am my own being and that means I value my work and BTS and myself as much as I love my kids.

So this mother's day is not just about me celebrating my motherhood. This mother's day is about me celebrating my amazing mother who has thought me that motherhood knows no bounds. That motherhood means sacrificing yourself for your kids and your grand kids. My mother is the epitome of what a great mother is. Sacrificial, selfless. But she is the first one who told me, to never let motherhood consume me. To allow myself to rest, to have fun, to travel.

This mother's day is about my aunt who showed me that you can be a mother to somebody else's kid and that it is amazing. This mother's day is about my sister who showed me that you can be a solo parent but would still have room to love 2 more kids. And my cousin who taught me that motherhood can be for single women also. That kids could be born from the heart.

What an amazing tribe I have. What a blessed mother I am. 

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