Of Parenting, Adulting and Burn Out

Last night, I had a very insightful conversation with some young millennial. Young. Like in their early twenties. And already talking about burn out.

Earlier in the day, my bestfriend and I are talking about Sarah G's outburst on her L.A. concert.

It was intriguing and honestly, the mother in me was bothered.

Alright, don't get me wrong. I am not here to tell the youngsters to get a grip nor invalidate their feelings. I get it! I swear!

But the mother in me was bothered because well, I'm a mother. And do we really want our kids to feel burned out at such a young age? They we're talking about not finding their niche, their center, their balance. That feeling of not having a say. That feeling of constantly working so hard just to prove their worth.

Alright, I get it! I've always been that perfectionist little girl. That over-achiever. That girl who wants to achieve everything. But I never felt that burn out early.

I remember not knowing my place during my late twenties (quarter-life crisis they say). Talking to my boss and telling him how unmotivated I am. I even tried to get out of it. But I can't because I have responsibilities. And honestly, when your entire family depends on you and your salary, you don't really have much of a choice.

There were days during my younger years when I dreamt of actually doing something I'm passionate about. IT has always been just a job. I do it for the money. I do it because I have a family to feed. I have my own passion. Blogging is one of those. Oh believe me! I envy those super mega bloggers who travel the world, take photos of their outfits and get paid a hefty amount for just sharing their thoughts on the web.

But I learned to love my job. And now, I can't even imagine doing anything else. 

I remember talking to someone smart who told me "Work hard to fuel your passion. Love your work so it'll love you back.". That's a wake up call for me. That in life, the only thing you can control is yourself. How you view things would define your level of happiness.

I started loving my work. And used the money I earn from my work to fuel my passion. I work. Earn. Dress up. Blog. Travel. I work hard so I could climb that corporate ladder and earn a little more. Those extra cash? I use them to buy new clothes for my blog #OOTD. I got make ups. I travel. I eat out. And I share them all on the blog.

Now, my passion has also become another source of income. I am finally earning from this blog. And the money I earn, I use to travel even more.

I became a parent when I reached that time in my life when I know I am done with partying and drinking and walwalan. I had my days of crazy. Getting super drunk? Check. Wearing bikini in Boracay? Check. Flirting? Check. Making out? Check. Heart break? Check. Check. Check. Stupid decisions? Oh gosh, super big check. Done with all of them. And so I became a mum.

Kaya din siguro now that I'm a mother, I was able to fully commit myself to motherhood. Do I miss the walwalan days? Actually no. I miss catching up with friends, yeah. But walwalan and inuman? No thanks! 

All of my mistakes has also thought me a lot. Like a lot!! And so I'm pretty sure that I know the signs once my daughter started doing them. And I plan to just beef her up with enough sensibility and good morals so she could breeze thru her life mistakes with less casualty. If you know what I mean.

Honestly, ako madami din sobra kalokohan. But the good morals that my parents has thought me has always been my weapon. I know how to say no because I was raised courageous and outspoken. My mother's extra worrying has thought me to be very very aware of my surroundings. Safety first! Yan ang motto namin ni Mila!

I say, early twenties are supposed to be that time when you enjoy your life, make mistakes and learn from it. Kids, we do not expect you to be perfect. We expect you to be humans. Try to relax, so you don't get burned out that early. Kasi believe me, once you reached the "real adulting" world, dun mo mararamdaman ang tunay na pagod.

Now that I'm a mother, literal na walang pahinga. I was actually here at a nearby cafe waiting for my child's school to finish. I just got off a conference call who happens to be around the same time as my daughter's pasukan. Yesterday, I was on a call while driving her to school. Sa dami ng ginagawa ko araw araw, kahit yung ibang kapwa ko parents nagtataka how I managed to do all of those.

I remember talking to my boss, a fellow parent, and when I told him I was even homeschooling my daughter naloka si lolo mo. Sabi nya, "you make me feel like a bad parent! How can you homeschool?". Alam nya kasi how demanding our job is. Alam nya because we work together.

But I guess if you love what you do (and I love both being a mum and working and blogging), you just make time for everything. It also helps that during my younger years, I have established myself so I am now in a position where I get a little bit of freedom to work on things the way I want to.

Another secret I guess is really knowing your priorities. Mine will always be my little girl. BUT my job is also a major priority kasi di ako pwede mawalan ng work dahil ang consequence nun eh di ko mapo-provide sa anak ko ang klase ng buhay na gusto ko for her.

Kaya nga I would tell my bosses na I would never jeopardize my work because it feeds my child. Mahal na mahal ko ang trabaho ko and I make sure my daughter understands that. But of course, di naman ako makakapag work ng maayos if hindi okay ang anak ko. So I really give them equal value.

As for blogging, it'll always be a passion. I do it out of love. I'm earning from it now, yes. But this one takes a back seat when I have to choose between work or my daughter. Masaya na ako that I've established myself as a legit blogger. I have readers. I have followers. You guys are still here to read me. Okay na ko dun. Wag natin masyado i-peg si Darna. Tao lang tayo!

#NanayMoments Musings