This little corner of mine used to be a fashion blog. Where I document my sartorial adventures. This is where I pose like there’s no tomorrow. This is where I feel pretty. So I guess it’s safe to say that I am pretty much confident with myself.
But then motherhood happens. And it smack me right to my face, hard.
I now have flabby arms, thunder thighs and bulging tummy. So I feel like my appeal and confidence are at an all time low. And I am falling deeper everyday.
But I won’t let that happen. I won’t let that get into me so I am upping my game. Yes. 2017 is my “balik-appeal” year.
Since I have loads to get back (nyahahaha), I’m starting as early as now. And I’ll be documenting them here at the blog.
Let’s start with the tips I got from Jasmine Mendiola, an image consultant and beauty strategist, during an interview by Swish. She says “appeal and confidence work together to turn you into an unbeatable force”. I can’t help but agree.
1. Get your hygiene on point. No matter what you do or what you wear, you cannot mask the fact that you haven’t showered or brushed your teeth for days. Do the basics, and then add a couple to your routine to take it to the next level. You can layer your fragrance with a soap-lotion-perfume combo. You can even use scented body oils if you want. Have some oil paper ready to mop up your shine throughout the day. I’ve already told you that I only brush 1-2 times a day as advised by my dentist (to avoid further damaging my enamel). So during the day, I use Swish Breath Spray for insta-fresh breath.
2. Take constructive criticism like a pro. Take a long, hard look at yourself to see what flaws you need to change, then say #changeiscoming. Harhar! If you have friends who bully you because you’re kinda flabby (hello true friends!), then maybe you are.
3. Dare to try. Jasmine says that you should always try everything once, especially when it comes to fashion and beauty. “Because you’ll never know, right? Even if it’s just in secret, like in the fitting room or in your bedroom. It wouldn’t hurt.”. This is something I used to be really good at. I used to be a dare devil and very fashion forward. I have to get that back.
4. Be smart about that first impression. “It only takes 11 seconds to create an impact,” Jasmine says, “so whether it’s a positive or negative one is up to how you present yourself.”. Think of the first few things that you do when you walk into a room. Keep your head up, smile and walk in with confidence. Make sure that your voice is steady and that you super pump your breath with Swish breath spray so you could talk confidently. Look the part of a head-turner.
5. Mind your body language. If you’re feeling less than stellar today, Jasmine says that simply pulling up your posture will make you feel confident in an instant. She adds, “Looking the person straight in the eye is also good, and lean forward. It makes you look like you’re more into the conversation.” To get the confidence to lean in, keep teeth clear of lunch’s debris and keep the garlic stench off your breath. Another thing to try is to set your phone aside and really pay attention to the people you’re with.
6. Find an “appeal” mentor. It’s totally okay to copy. Just make sure you just pick up the best traits of someone and make it your own. Make them your peg. Beyonce’s my Queen B peg, her slay queen attitude is the best. Frances is my honest mum peg. I have to yet to find my mum body peg but I’m on it. I have to find someone achievable. Harhar! So no Victoria’s Secret angels for moi.
7. Wear pink or neutrals. “Even wearing a hint of it helps,” Jasmine says, noting that it’s a color that shows that you’re very friendly and amiable. She adds that it naturally draws attention to you. If you’re not comfortable with the color, even just a pendant or a swipe of pink lipstick will do. “These are safe to do, but makes you madating.” If the guys are uncomfortable with wearing this hue, the safest colors for them to wear would be white, black, tan, navy blue, or nude.
8. Be overdressed than underdressed. My personal matra. Heller? The main reason why I want to up my appeal is because I want to stand out and being overdressed achieves that in a heartbeat. But there is a difference between desperately seeking attention by being overdressed, and just simply being tasteful and “strategic” about your fashion sense. Jasmine says, “If you’re scared that you’ll come off as too dressy, there are ways to instantly make your outfit more casual anyway, like folding up your sleeves, or removing your jacket or accessories.”
9. Work with what you are. You can wear all the most stylish and expensive clothes in the world, but if you look terribly uncomfortable in them, your plans of leveling up will go down the drain. Jasmine says, “If what they’re wearing will make them feel even more nervous or awkward, then don’t do it and go back to what works for you. Once you know who you are—your body type, your skin type, and the style you like—you edit how you look according to whom and what you are right now. If you want to level up, take baby steps and check out what you can still improve on, and you work from there.” Because really, you’ll never know when your amped up appeal can change your life forever.
Thank you so much Swish for this awesome list of advice. I always tell myself that I will never be that losyang mum. But I find myself drowning into that pit called losyangness. And I have to act now. I don’t want people to think that I have lost all my appeal and confidence because I became a mum. I also don’t want my husband to think that I am not pretty anymore. Most of all, I want my daughter to know that it is possible to love your family, take care of them, work your ass out and still look stunning.
And of course, thank you so much Swish for my stash of Swish breath spray. I’m sharing this to my husband so we could be insta-fresh all day.