On Raising a Happy Child

I just read this today - I’m Done Making My Kid’s Childhood Magical. I saw it on my FB timeline shared by another neophyte mum friend. And I just can’t help but smile and nod in agreement. Nabasa nyo na ba? Go ahead and read! This is truly an eye opener.

You see when I became a mum, I just found myself surrounded with fellow mums. And then I’d hear this and that. Comments of this and that. I just can’t help but notice how crazy motherhood has become.

I must admit that at first, muntik na din ako matangay sa agos ng kalokohan. I wanna be a breastfeeding, baby-wearing, homeschooling, all-organic, baby-led weaning, no-TV, no-gadgets, bento-making super mum. And while I did and is still doing some of this, I learned to relax a little and listen to my mum instinct more. I also learned to adjust my expectations and really understand my child. I also realized that I don't have to do all of those just to be a supermum because I will always be my daughter's Super Mum.

Ang hirap these days, it felt like motherhood is a competition. While I am very glad that mums nowadays know that motherhood is something very important at hindi basta nagluwal ka lang ng bata tapos go na. I just can’t help but notice that most of the time, it’s starting to be an “I am a better mum than you” mentality. Pero mali eh. Maling mali.

Motherhood is all about taking care of your child. God’s gift to you and your family. That little child was given to you to protect, love, nourish and hone to be a better person.

When I started to really understand that motherhood is all about my kid and her happiness, not mine. That's when I started to relax.

Sobrang tama yung post. Sabi nya, when she was 5, they went to Disney World. And yet, she barely remembered that. What she remembers are those times she spent playing with her brothers. Time spent outside their house. And I tried to remember my own childhood. What I would remember are those times I'd read a book while lying on my Papa's back (nakadapa sya tapos dun ako sa likod nya hihiga). I would remember spelling out the letters of the words I can't read to Mila and then she'd tell how to read it. I remember my first day in nursery school. My aunts and mama and papa are all so excited, they made me stand on a table outside our house and took a hundred dozen pictures. I would remember being carried to the school by my aunts everyday. They would carry me because I hate walking. Those are what shaped my childhood. Simple, everyday stuff.

So every time I’d receive comments like, bakit di pa daw kami nag travel by plane ni Kakay. I would just simply tell them that I still don’t see my child enjoying travels. Which is true. The farthest we went was Subic and Batanggas. On both instances, she doesn’t like the beach. The hates the sand. But she loves the pool. And the slides. And so we would usually go to places with slides and pools. She loves her swimming lessons because she loves playing with her teacher. So dun kami nagpupunta. She loves the giant slide. Her uncle brought her there earlier this week and she won't sush about it.

Why would I spend so much money when I know that my child won’t enjoy it yet? Or that I could bring her to places here in the Metro and experience the same joy.

Parents these days would spend so much time, effort and money trying to "perfect" their kid's childhood when all they really need are time and attention.

My daughter would be so much happier every time we'd play Lego together. She'll be happier at home jumping, playing and making a mess. She loves Jollibee but she'd eat more at home using her Minnie Mouse plate.

I realize that motherhood is easier and a whole lot better when you listen to your kid. And listen to the child inside you.

Just know your kids. Know them well. And understand them. Two years into motherhood and that's the greatest lesson I've learned. That motherhood doesn't come with a hard copy manual but we are born to be a mum. It is engraved in our being, in our hearts and in our soul. Just listen to your children and understand them and know them. You won't go wrong because your heart will tell you what to do.

I am not a perfect mum. Oh God believe me, I am far, very far from being perfect. But I am the mother my child needs me to be. And every time I'd see her smiling at me, lovingly looking at me, I would know that I am doing things right. I don't have to make her childhood magical. It'll be magical because she's a child. All I have to do is love her. Really love her.

Now gush over these cutie pics of my fashionista little girl. Isn't she magical?